Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to
begin with?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives
a race car is not called a racist?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know
you're broke?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the
universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to
touch it to check?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?
REMEMBER, a day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!
And a day without sunshine is, like.......... .night!!!!
