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« on: September 02, 2008, 03:36:55 pm »
NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
(girls use name like hun, sister, girl. If those names men use are your idea of affection it's no wonder we have wars.)
EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
(The men where all oggling the waitress and would have slipped bills down her shirt depending on where they choose to eat, Hooters anyone?)
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
(accually todays woman are better in math than men and calcultors are not needed)
MONEY
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
(Men waist money then say there wives spend it all)
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
(Men only think they don't need it because they don't know what it is)
BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
(you forgot the magazines, it you would eat more salid it would come out the other end)
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
(If a woman cut down to only 6 items a man would go find anouther woman)
ARGUMENTS
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
(there is nothing to say here)
FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
(this old idea was designed by men because otherwise woman might not have anything to do with them, doesn't apply today at least in america. For a look at how things use to be, studie the middle east, woman there still have little to no rights and treated like cattle.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
(funny how having a woman in ones life tends to make one care about there future)
SUCCESS
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
(Woman spend money to fix the stove or whatever broke this month and get an ear full of how much it costs, men buy toys and tell themselves they worked hard they earned it. )
(Woman who bought what they need to look nice are still married, woman who didn't husbands used it to buy new toys, including a new wife)
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
(not all of us are bimbo's, stop watching movies in black and white and catch up with the times)
MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
(only if you married them young, educated woman want it all up frount)
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
(and thuse the problem with men who keep remarring 18 year olds every 5-10 years)
DRESSING UP
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
(just not true, but men would like it to be that way. Seen the commerial about the guy trying to plug up his toilet so the sexy lady plumber would stop by, notice too this guy is married? Gah man have wierd fantisies)
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
(and first dates)
NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
(true, they went to bed with messy hair and bad breath)
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
(true, they went to bed with minty fresh breath and hair brushed)
OFFSPRING
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
(this is just sad)
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
(send this version to men with a sense of humor who can handle it, and woman who will just smile knowingly)
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