This is a just a small portion of something I have been working on, it's still just a rough draft but thought I would share with some of my friends
and yes, feel free to comment/critique
Twenty Minutes Away
Colleen sat transfixed on the computer screen, doing what had become her weekly ritual for the past two years. She entered the only information that she had into one database after another; First: Rebecca Middle: Leah Last: Unknown Date of Birth: April 27, 1988 City of birth: LaPorte State of birth: Indiana…enter…. searching…. No Results Found.
Colleen sat back, taking a sip of coffee and allowed her thoughts to drift back to the day in the hospital when she gave birth to the little girl she would give up for adoption, it was such a long time ago and for so many years she refused to even think about it, she thought of the day that the adoptive parents came to visit her, the day they took her baby home…they brought her a milk shake from Dairy Queen…hardly seems like an even trade.
Walking into the kitchen to refill her coffee cup she cursed herself for not remembering, for not doing like her mother suggested and keep a diary. At that time in her life she never thought that she would want to find the baby she gave away, she thought she would just forget and live her life as if it never happened, now the only information she can remember is the name that the couple gave her and the date she was born…. like finding a needle in a haystack.
The following day at work Colleen began training for a new contract, it meant longer hours but it also meant better pay and job security, and after all the recent lay-offs she would take anything they wanted to throw at her. It was difficult learning the new systems, she was no slouch when it came to computer programs but this software was very challenging for her. Only a select few were trained with this new system, entering information into a governmental database meant a lot of security and red tape.
It had been months since she performed her searches, with everything going on at work she had spent every free moment going over procedures and programs to learn this new system, and contract inside and out and it paid off with a nice little promotion and pay raise. One afternoon while searching through the system for applicant information a thought crossed her mind…. what would it hurt, just to see…probably another dead end anyway so what would be the harm. She entered Rebecca’s information, or what she had of it; into the database search screen and hit enter.
The search did not take very long, Colleen sat staring at the screen, her hands trembling as the information she had been searching for appeared on the monitor, she hit print screen and rushed to the printer. She had everything, the adoptive parents’ names and address, John and Patricia that was their name; she remembered…how could she have forgotten that? She had their last name, address, telephone number, Rebecca’s address and telephone number…She was married according to the information, and had two children ages 2 and 3 months, “I’m a grandmother” Colleen softly whispered to herself. Carefully she folded the paper and placed it in her purse, she couldn’t concentrate on work, and lucky for her the day was almost over.
During the entire drive home her mind was racing, she had searched for so long and now she didn’t know what she would do with the information now that she finally had it in her hands. She didn’t know what, if anything Rebecca knew about her, she couldn’t just call her or write her directly without at least knowing what the adoptive parents told her so she decided she would write a letter to the parents, but what would she say? “Hi, remember me? I gave you a baby about 21 years ago and wanted to know if it would be ok to talk to her?”
Colleen pulled into her driveway and rushed into her house, she didn’t even take off her coat before plugging her daughter’s name in the Google search engine, she had a MySpace page, and Colleen clicked the link then felt as though she couldn’t breathe when the picture of Rebecca appeared. It was like looking at a picture of herself at that age. Colleen was surprised that the profile wasn’t set to private as most were, Colleen clicked the link for Rebecca’s photo album, there were pictures of Rebecca and according to the caption her husband Michael…there were also pictures of her children Joshua and Riana, they were so beautiful Colleen thought.
Bookmarking the page Colleen then entered the father’s name in Google…she didn’t come up with much, only an address and telephone number that she now had, so she searched for the mother. It appeared the mother was a very successful business woman, she owned a bed and breakfast in Laporte, one that Colleen recalls staying at a time or two with her ex when she still lived in Indiana. Also the adoptive mother had a Face Book page. The Face Book page was set to private, but it appeared that she had a lot of friends on her list; perhaps being a business owner she just automatically accepted friend invitations Colleen thought to herself, so she sent a friend request.
Rebecca had grown up in Laporte Indiana, it was only 20 minutes away from Michigan City where Colleen had lived all her life up until a few years ago…all this time Rebecca was so close, if only she had known. Colleen sat back and sipped her tea as she wondered to herself what type of life Rebecca had, she looked so happy in the pictures “do I want to risk it?” Colleen thought to herself then opened up her word program and began to type.
Dear John and Patricia,
My name is Colleen Sanders and I live in Fargo, North Dakota. About 21 years ago I placed a baby girl up for adoption in Michigan City; Indiana…my name at that time was Colleen Robards.
I am writing because I have been searching for the baby I placed for adoption, I remembered that the Father’s name was John and the mother’s name was Patricia and that they named the baby girl Rebecca Leah.
The reason I am writing is I needed to know if you were the couple I chose to be her parents. If you are not then I am so sorry to have bothered you, but if you are I would very much like the opportunity to speak with you both.
Please know that I do not wish to take anything from you or to interfere in your relationship with Rebecca in any way. I would just like to have the opportunity to speak with her, if that is also her wish.
I am enclosing a self addressed stamped envelope. Please let me know if your Rebecca is the same child I placed for adoption or if I am mistaken. I did not want to attempt to contact her directly without knowing what, if anything she knew about me.
Sincerely
Colleen Sanders
701-234-9999
Colleen.Sander s@gmail.netColleen didn’t mail the letter for 3 days; she kept reading it over and over. She did not want to come across as pushy, she did not want them to think she wanted to come and be “mommy” now that Rebecca was a grown woman. After she mailed the letter all she could do was wait.
The weeks dragged by, 2…3…. 4 weeks and nothing, she knew she should have sent the letter with a return receipt, what if they didn’t get it? Colleen decided that she would wait 6 weeks, if she didn’t hear anything by then she would send a second letter, certified mail this time.
It was a few days later, Colleen came home from work to find that there was a letter from the offices of “Kenefik, Gilmore and Bergeson” and her heart sank. These were the same lawyers who handled her divorce. She opened the letter and read;
Dear Mrs. Sanders,
Please be advised Mr. and Mrs. John Fowler have retained our services. This letter is notification that they wish no further contact with you and that any continued attempts to contact the Fowlers or their daughter Rebecca can and will result in criminal charges.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact our office.
Thank you,
Thomas Gilmore
Attorney at Law
Colleen sat on the couch and cried, she would never know her now, and she wouldn’t even have the chance to talk with her. She read the letter over and over suddenly it dawned on her. The adoptive parents, not Rebecca, hired the lawyer. Perhaps Rebecca was not even made aware of her attempt to contact her, Colleen decided she would contact the lawyers office directly.
The next morning Colleen called in sick, she would never be able to concentrate anyway, then called the attorney’s office. The receptionist answered the telephone cheerfully, too cheerful for that time of the morning in Colleen’s opinion. “May I speak with Attorney Robert Kenefick?” Colleen asked shakily, “I’m sorry but Mr. Kenefick will not be in the office until 1pm, would you like his voicemail?” “No,” Colleen answered, “I will call back, thank you”.
Colleen tried to keep herself busy until 1pm but she kept finding herself looking through Rebecca’s photo album online, how happy she and her babies looked in each photo. Colleen wondered if Rebecca would have looked as happy if she wouldn’t have placed her for adoption, if she had to grow up with her as a mother.
At 3pm she placed another call to the attorney’s office, this time he was available. “Hello Ms. Sanders, how may I help you?” Colleen explained that she had received the letter from his office and asked “Was Rebecca present in your office or was it only the parents who requested you contact me about this?” There was a pause before Kenefick replied “It is the parents wish that you make no further contact to either them or their daughter.” Colleen felt her body relax and smiled softly to herself “Mr. Kenefick, Rebecca is an adult 21 years of age, I believe she is fully capable of making her own decisions, and if she chooses to tell me herself that she does not wish any contact with me, well, I am perfectly willing to accept that. Understand this Mr. Kenefick, I will contact Rebecca and will honor whatever decision she makes, not a decision that has been made for her, and if you feel the need to have charges pressed against me then I am perfectly willing to accept that as well…. good afternoon.”
Colleen sat at her computer and began composing a letter to the child she placed for adoption all those years ago. She began by explaining who she was; she fought to keep herself from running on and on and basically asked that Rebecca contact her whether she wanted to speak with Colleen or not.
Colleen waited anxiously and the weeks passed, just shy of three weeks later she received a letter in the mail from Rebecca, Colleen took a deep breath and carefully opened the envelope.
Dear Colleen,
Thank you for contacting me, yes I have always known I was adopted so your letter was not a shock to me. I would like to say thank you for choosing such wonderful parents for me and for the sacrifice you made in placing me for adoption. I could not have asked for a better life than the one I had.
My life is complete, I do hope that I have put your mind at ease, but with that being said I am asking that you not attempt to contact me again. I have a mother and my children have a grandmother and I do not wish to complicate my life or theirs. I do hope you understand and respect my wishes.
Thank you
RebeccaColleen sat on the couch and read the letter once more as tears rolled down her cheeks, and then carefully she folded the letter and placed it in the envelope. She gathered all the information she had collected on Rebecca, placing it in a manila envelope and places it gently in the hope chest at the foot of her bed.
